我...快乐吗？

我对每个朋友都那么好

他们是怎样想...我就不知道了

他们叫到我帮忙，我一定帮        如果我能帮

但是他们重来没看到我的好意

我真的不知道为什么

我时常对他们说，“我什么都可以,只要大家高高兴兴我就开心了”

The question is, "Am I happy with what I did and what I said?"

我这样说      我是真的快乐吗？

对！有时真的很高兴很快乐

但，有时是真的会不高兴

因为他们根本没那么想。

我对他们的好，他们根本看不到。

有什么事我都会想到他们

那我呢？

谁会想到我？ 谁会对我好？

我只是想用我的真心对待朋友而已

真的有那么难吗？

善良对待每个人          有错吗？

真心对待每个人          有错吗？

每次有什么事，我都会帮你们讲话。

都后来，错的是谁？  是我吗？

为什么是我的错！     难道你们就没错吗？

对我错！  错在我太在意你们了

My false!  Because of my soft heart

这样做，我真的会快乐吗？

也许，我不是真真的快乐！

你最近还好吗？

Fight

Morning peeps

Another great morning which I need to wake up earlier

To catch up with my assignment, my revision and even tough for me is lecture classes

Today I need to attend lecture classes from 10 am to 6 pm without rest.

MYGODNESS

Sleep in the class is a compulsory things tat I done it almost everyday lecture classes

Anyway, final is here which means holiday also around the corner

That is the end point of this semester.

To final, I will fight for it

To holiday, I will enjoy it

Isolation

Pek Cekkkk!!!!

Sibeh Dulan 

Start next year, I will try to isolate myself.

I will only talk with people when I think it is necessary for me to talk

Assignment's group, in consideration

Outing with friends, buddies, family still in consideration

For sure, laugh, talk, chit chat all will be conducted if there is necessary for me to do so.

-

I will definitely isolate myself

Go faculty, Back kk

All by myself

-

At here, University's life 

All the people appear in my life is just course-mate and mutual friends

What best friends, best mate, best buddy, best jimui.

All just nonsense for me right now!

-

对别人好，只会害到自己吃亏而已

我不要再当那个傻婆了

对，我看到我身边的人开心我就开心

但  你们有想过我吗？！

你们也要会做人啊！

我不是傻到完地！

-

ISOLATION is the BEST solution to solve my problem.

Love busy

Most of the people always said that I'm always busy

Said that I'm a corporate lady in future

Why I always busy?

Do you all really think that I love to busy like hell?

No!

I just want to make myself busy

So that i would not think of past

I hope I would be busy for my whole entire life

So I would be recover from the pain

5 years...It already been 5 years

I could not forget what you have done on me

I always lie to people that I don't like all the love love stuff

The main reason is YOU

The pain still in my heart

That I already use 5 years to recovered

Do you think that I'm all alright

Once I remain silent without doing anything 

Then I will start to think the past

Every time I'm thinking of our past, my tear will start to drop down to my cheek

The feeling is really SUCK

Now I'm too silent in a room

And make me start thinking of our past

Long Time

Dear blogger,


I was missing for a few month 
It's not a few month, it's is more than half year since my last blog is on April, 2013.
Everyday thinking to update my blog but lazy and busy 
Busy from April 2013 until the break which was on last June then continued to rest until September.
I even do not felt like touching my laptop at all since it was school break (home) and I need REST.
Later school reopen and my life is totally busy like hell...do you all know what I meant. 
Ya, definitely It was fucking busy like hell
I even do not have my own privacy time
Phone rang, Facebook have message everyday, checking and replying email 4 days a week.
I just don't have much time to rest.



Now, I'm busy with my club activity
The most emo matter is I found out that everyone has change as the time pass by
Sometimes I really even don't want to bother it
but I could not make it because they are my friends
Friends already been one part of my life
Everyone just change suddenly... It is like freaking awkward for me
Why everyone just care about them self
I really don't understand at all.



Sometimes I need find someone who really can understand me
Is there really someone who understand me that I am able to share my problem
Actually there was and it maybe I too believing in myself and do not trust anyone else accept myself
Thus, I don't dare to share my problem to anyone.
I just keep hiding it in myself



If I just said that hiding the problem in my heart make me feel OK
I guess I was totally wrong
Sometimes it really make me so down but I even can't express it through my face
Because I scare someone will see through my face
I just don't like people walk into my heart
Is there anyone understand me???
Although I seem like crazy laugh everyday
Everything I do is just want to hide my stupid problems
I know that some of the peoples will think that I'm idiot
For your information, I also think the same way



I know that most of the people think that I'm strong in every aspect
That why I need to be strong
Do you all think that I like this perception that most of the peoples have
NO! because it was too tiring.
when people have that kind of perception on you means that you are NOT allow to make any mistake
This life is not a normal life for me... It is not the thing that I want
Do you all really care about me
What I want is a normal life
Go class happily, after class relaxing
This semester make me feel like there is no uni life in my everyday life
I fucking hate my life 

Flip Out

Received my mid term exam result   
< managerial economic I >

The result caused me EMO

Really too many careless mistakes

I could not forgive my self commits this type of mistakes

Then I decided to watch movie with friends

So that I am able to let go of my result

In the early I thought I already make it

Who know... It's different after reached kk...

Now... Right Now

I'm sitting in front laptop without doing anything for 4 hours

Just stared at the laptop and stare blankly

I'm so disappointed of my self

Regarding my exam's result

I really do not know how to save myself from sinking myself deeply into "black hole"

Later 2pm got QA class

I really scare other same thing will happen on me

What I can do now

Just stay calm and pray

Hope that I'm really able to score better marks