Long Time

Dear blogger,


I was missing for a few month 
It's not a few month, it's is more than half year since my last blog is on April, 2013.
Everyday thinking to update my blog but lazy and busy 
Busy from April 2013 until the break which was on last June then continued to rest until September.
I even do not felt like touching my laptop at all since it was school break (home) and I need REST.
Later school reopen and my life is totally busy like hell...do you all know what I meant. 
Ya, definitely It was fucking busy like hell
I even do not have my own privacy time
Phone rang, Facebook have message everyday, checking and replying email 4 days a week.
I just don't have much time to rest.



Now, I'm busy with my club activity
The most emo matter is I found out that everyone has change as the time pass by
Sometimes I really even don't want to bother it
but I could not make it because they are my friends
Friends already been one part of my life
Everyone just change suddenly... It is like freaking awkward for me
Why everyone just care about them self
I really don't understand at all.



Sometimes I need find someone who really can understand me
Is there really someone who understand me that I am able to share my problem
Actually there was and it maybe I too believing in myself and do not trust anyone else accept myself
Thus, I don't dare to share my problem to anyone.
I just keep hiding it in myself



If I just said that hiding the problem in my heart make me feel OK
I guess I was totally wrong
Sometimes it really make me so down but I even can't express it through my face
Because I scare someone will see through my face
I just don't like people walk into my heart
Is there anyone understand me???
Although I seem like crazy laugh everyday
Everything I do is just want to hide my stupid problems
I know that some of the peoples will think that I'm idiot
For your information, I also think the same way



I know that most of the people think that I'm strong in every aspect
That why I need to be strong
Do you all think that I like this perception that most of the peoples have
NO! because it was too tiring.
when people have that kind of perception on you means that you are NOT allow to make any mistake
This life is not a normal life for me... It is not the thing that I want
Do you all really care about me
What I want is a normal life
Go class happily, after class relaxing
This semester make me feel like there is no uni life in my everyday life
I fucking hate my life